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Why!?!?! My God, why? What sick, sick person thought this unspeakable insult
to human life into existance. The only one good thing about the movie was the mule, the acting mule, the mule who was the
best actor in the film, the mule who was eaten by the evil army shortly after the 10 minute-unspeakable-walking with that
stupid lion that for some reason was eating smoking meat in the middle of a nuclear wasteland in the united states. Why? Why
did that fat rotund imbecile stare at the postman so the army could draft him and eat the mule. Why did the leader of the
army set up the tatoo-brand challenge so the movie could end "dramatic" hollywood style. Why did some stupid guy appear in
the last third of the movie (it seemed like eight hours) and say "cooly" "You da Postman?" Not "Are you the postman?"
no,
it was da, DA!! And with the equally garbagetastic response. Alright I'll pull myself together. The setting is in the United
States. It is far in the future while a young woman tells the story of her father trying to pull a world together after a
huge nuclear war. The Postman is a travelling actor (along with the acting mule) but at one village he is betrayed to an evil
army by a fat supposedly kindly but half-witted and mistaken loser. The army drafts him and eats his mule. He must get revenge.
But before that he has to get branded so he can challenge the leader at the end. He escapes finds a dead postman and pretends
he has brought back the federal postal service. Nothing much happens in the next hour and a half. He is supposedly tired after
doing so many runs, because he doesn't want his postmen to die, and yet all that happens is he gets on his horse faster and
gets angry. The story reaches it's height of stupidity when the story cuts to the long forgotten even more distant future
and the woman, the postman's daughter, uncovers a statue of the Postman taking mail from a boy. Then a random, balding watery-eyed(supposedly
crying) ape(minus the goodness) says "I was that boy." Then it is forgotten again. The story ends, I'm going to tell you this
so you don't watch it, with the 2 armies facing off (postal service and evil army, what I'm wondering is why the people in
the enemy army don't just shoot the evil guy who is always a jerk anyway) and the Postman rips his shirt showing the brand
and going one-on-one. Of course the evil guy dies.
Once again, I'm ashamed to be living in a world where such a shameless
production can be enjoyed by some foolish, misguided people (I'm looking at you DM).
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