Duel two arena one

Gamer: Let's(Yes let us go of the bridge.-Trekie) go of the bridge, and in mid fall, he shoots webbing out at a farther plank. He swings, bringing down the bridge part way, and then he swings up and through another plank. The bridge rockets back up, shooting the grid rock upwards. With the force, Gamer pushes it towards SWNerd at a super-fast speed. He lands on the opposite solid ground and the GRENADE explodes in SWNerd's face.

SWNerd: As the grenade rockets towards SWNerd, he uses the Force to slow it's onslaught, stop it, then draws a Westar-34, and shoots it over the bridge, the explosion utterly killing Melvin. Poor Melvin. Let us review some of the happy times we had with him. "...known only as Melvin", and "...killing Melvin". Such happy memories.

Gamer: Jumps up and above the gap, shoots web into the air, and onto Melvin's dead carcass. The stress from the carcass' weight springs him upwards, and Gamer lets go as the carcass moves towards SWNerd. In Between some planks, SWNerd can see a shine and hear a gunshot. Gamer goes into bullet time and burrows into the other solid ground side, somewhere under SWNerd.

SWNerd: SWNerd jumps out of the way of the suffering carcass of Melvin the Lesser Character, and shoots a laser into the bullet, making it explode in mid-air.

Gamer: A beaver pops out of the ground 10m away from SWNerd, but only the head is looking out, unmoving. This is not Gamer <_<, >_>.

SWNerd: SWNerd, who rejoices in the slaughter of small animals, shoots the beaver in the head several times, Force jumps, and slices it's head off, then stabs it's body several times, and Force jumps back to where he was before.

Gamer: Another hole was made during the hum of the lightsaber killing the beaver right behind SWNerd, and the real Gamer pops out and grabs SWNerd's neck, ready to break it.

SWNerd: SWNerd brings his lightsaber back over his head before Gamer can grab it, warding him off, then jumps around for a bit.

Gamer: After SWNerd jumps around like an idiot, and finishes happily, Gamer takes out his 2cm Gun and fires at SWNerd, and he appears to "keel over and die."

SWNerd: He easily dodges the bullet, and then keels over for no reason and sleeps. Remembering Gamer, he gets up and assumes a defensive position.

Gamer: Starts throwing knives at SWNerd.

SWNerd: Does the Matrix move where he runs up a wall dodging bullets. However, in this case, there is no wall, and the bullets are knives. However, SWNerd still runs up, making a wall out of dense air. If you are having trouble visualising this material, think of what fills DM's head.

Gamer: Takes out the BFG 9000 and fires at SWNerd.

SWNerd: "Aaaaagh!"cowards SWNerd. He jumps high in the air, and falls down into the chasm, slowing his descent at the end for a gentle landing.

Gamer: Floats up above the chasm, and then starts dropping countless grenades and various explosives.

SWNerd: Uses Force speed to run in a direction, but silently. He then flies up, approxiamately 500m behind Gamer. "Now, how does that work?... Ah, yes." SWNerd activates one lightsaber, raises it above his head, and screams "NINJA STEALTH ATTACK!". This causes Gamer to turn around and see him. "Aw, Shamoley!!!" Curses SWNerd, with a snap of his fingers.

SWNerd: SWNerd begins to fly at Gamer as well, with both lightsabre's at the ready. At the last moment, SWNerd pulls away, goes underneath Gamer, and stabs up. Gamer blocks this attack, and does a mid-air summersault, landing (if you can call it that up in the air) facing SWNerd. SWNerd comes at him again, lightsabers swinging. He thrusts, parries, and strikes with his lightsaber, and unlike Anakin in Ep. II, he realises that he can also stab at Gamer while he does so. However, through goodness, proficiency with a sword (well, sort of), and his armour, Gamer manages not to sustain any injuries, although some dent like objects are made in his armour, weakening it.

Gamer: Kicks SWNerd in the crotch. Because it doesn't hurt him, Gamer is forced to choose another plan. He summons up wind to disorient SWNerd and then throws useless junk at him like a box of green grid indented rocks, boxes, and some cubes of cardboard.

SWNerd: The reason that it doesn't hurt him is because he slices Gamer's foot off before it can get there, unless he wants to change that attack. As for the other junk, SWNerd draws his blaster once again, flies backwards quickly, and shoots everything before Gamer can throw it, and the grenades blow up in his face. The stupid wind wouldn't do anything because SWNerd can use Force sense, and also to create a bubble of clear air around him. (Note: Please state what game you can summon wind from. Also, just because I don't know, what game are these style of grenades from?)

Gamer: Gamer dodges the slice at the foot and pushes the shrapnel away from his face with the Force and the Source.

SWNerd: SWNerd shoots several lasers at Gamer, using both blasters, and making them circle him and close in on him.

SWNerd: Um, seeing as you could do that, since there are two coming at you at the same time all the time.

Gamer: I can stop the other side with my own Force powers until the other ones have stopped, then I stop those ones. (What?!?!?!?! No you bloody well didn't!!!! Since when can you do something so profoundly stupid!?!?!?! I don't think even I could do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!-SWNerd.)

Gamer: Casts TIME STOP and gets a free attack at SWNerd. He casts magic missile at SWNerd.

Gamer: Yes...seeing as when I meant TIME STOP it stopped time until that attack hit you. Anyways, Gamer stands still shaking his head at the idiocy of his opponent.

SWNerd: (cancel block) SWNerd suddenly realizes that there is a large wound in him, and heals himself with the Force, blood gushing from the wound. SWNerd also diverts enough blood to go to the brain so he can still think clearly.

Gamer: Shoots all the falling blood with a phaser to disintegrate any chances of nano-probes infecting him.

SWNerd: But it's too late! The nano-probes that I got by magically adding them to the movies have infected you! Mwuhahahahahaha! Seriously, what the crap? And, SWNerd is a bit more healed.

Gamer: In this little bit of dialogue, a chunk of rock came and harmlessly entered SWNerd in the ear, and then came out the other ear within 2 seconds.

Gamer: Creates a small hurricane around SWNerd and himself, but enough to obscure whatever Gamer takes out of his transporter buffer. He puts the items on his utility belt, and then decides their useless and throws them down into the void of the hurricane. He then pulls out his lightsaber and goes towards SWNerd.

SWNerd: Since Gamer was so subtle about deciding that these things were "useless", SWNerd pushes himself into the eye of the hurricane, and makes an extended jump out of it, landing some way away, lightsaber drawn.

Gamer: He gets up to SWNerd and an insult sword fight ensues. I insist SWNerd study up on his insult sword fighting responses. These can be found on request.

Gamer: After waiting for 2 days, Gamer instead moves on to his next plan. Gamer shoots several barrages of his ice beam, freezing SWNerd, he then summons the other items from the hurricane, approximately 12 lightsabers. He directs them at SWNerd and then pushes them towards him with a modified manipulator gun and the Force. SWNerd has several days to react.

SWNerd: (Yes, yes, yes. I know. I just didn't realise that it was in my other account.) SWNerd lets go of the lightsabers he has, and makes them fly out and chop the ice to itty bitty bits. He then uses his greater powers of the Force to deactivate all of the lightsabers, and uses his own to chop the others into halves.

Gamer: Reactivates the sabers before SWNerd's lightsabers chop them, and then Gamer gets his sabers to chop up SWNerd's sabers. Gamer's sabers then close in on SWNerd. During which of all this, Gamer pulls out a phaser and shoots SWNerd. Phaser is set to vapourize.(Re-activates?! Close in?!?! Since when is that possible?!?!?!-SWNerd?!?!?!?!)

SWNerd: Despite the questionable abilities Gamer has suddenly obtained, SWNerd manages to crush all of the power cells in the lightsabers at once using the Force, before they can chop up his lightsaber. He then runs up to Gamer, skillfully dodging the phaser (Gamer, just let me do this one thing). He then manages to grab the phaser by using much skill and tactitude, and runs away with it. He then gets behind a conveniently placed rock, and ducks, then pops up at random intervals to shoot at Gamer, who is doing the same with another phaser behind another rock. They then simultaneously vapourize the rocks, and then both shoot each other's phaser's at the same time, disintegrating them. SWNerd then draws his lightsaber's, and the two are exactly the same as they were before this, minus one phaser. (If Gamer cheaply attacks me during this, the attack is rendered null and void-SWNerd)

Gamer: I have the force as well remember? Anyways, I pull out a manipulator and pick up randomly placed items and start shooting at SWNerd.

SWNerd: (I'm assuming that you're shooting the objects at me) SWNerd puts up a Force barrier, and Force pushes them back at Gamer. He then makes the manipulator turn towards Gamer and start shooting at him. This does absolutely nothing to Gamer, but it provides SWNerd with the opportunity to say "Stop manipulating yourself". SWNerd takes this opportunity. He then shoots at Gamer with his EE-3.

Gamer: Quick-draws a lightsaber, holding the manipultor in the other hand, and then blocks the shot.

SWNerd: SWNerd (assuming that Gamer directed the shots back at him) blocks the on-coming lasers, and re-directs them back at Gamer, who in turn re-directs them back. This continues for a while. As this is happening, some gophers pop out of the ground, and watch the rally like they were watching tennis. After a while, SWNerd grows bored of it, and re-directs the lasers at the gophers, killing them all.

Gamer: Picks up SWNerd with the Enhanced Manipulator and throws him off the cliff.

SWNerd: When the manipulator brings him in close, SWNerd knocks it out of Gamer's hands with the Force, then slashes at Gamer with his lightsabers.

Gamer: Catches both lightsabers with the Organic Manipulator and throws them back at SWNerd.

SWNerd: Yeeessss, seeing as I threw them. Oh, wait, I didn't, did I? So, when the other manipulator brings the lightsabers in, SWNerd crushes the manipulator, and attacks Gamer. Again.

Gamer: Reverses time and instead of picking SWNerd up with the Manipulator, he instead shoots SWNerd.

SWnerd: SWNerd uses Force speed to dodge all of the bullets, and attacks Gamer with his lightsabers. Yet again.

Gamer: Pulls the lightsabers out of SWNerd's hands and then shoots them back at him.

SWNerd: As the lightsabers hurtle towards him, SWNerd speeds himself up, and barely dodges the two weapons. He then grabs the weapons with the Force, pulls them towards him, and crushes the manipulator (again). He then picks Gamer up with the Force, crushes his transporter buffer, and slams him down on the ground in the space of 1 second.

Gamer: Summons the G-Man to pull him out of the regular time continuum just as SWNerd is about to counter-attack. Then Gamer gets G-Man to place him somewhere far away from SWNerd. When Gamer re-appears, he sets up 4 Jedi Outcast forcefields around him and then casts Time Stop. When the casting is complete, Gamer transports himself to SWNerd using the Portable Transporter from Star Trek: Voyager - Elite Force and then procedes by vapourizing SWNerd with the Gravity Cannon (the enhanced manipulator). After Gamer finishes this move, time resumes its normal flow.

SWNerd: As Gamer disappears and re-appears farther away, SWNerd puts up a Force shield around himself, thick enough to repel the attacks, and close enough to him so that Gamer cannot get inside it (it's surrounding his body). SWNerd then uses the Force to crush the transporter buffer and Gamer's heart.

Gamer: Summons the G-Man to pull him out of the regular time continuum just as SWNerd is about to counter-attack. Then Gamer gets G-Man to place him somewhere far away from SWNerd. When Gamer re-appears, he sets up 4 Jedi Outcast forcefields around him and then casts Time Stop. When the casting is complete, Gamer gets G-Man to take SWNerd onto his flying tram. Then G-Man gives SWNerd two choices: work for him or fight a battle which he cannot possibly win.

SWNerd: What the cr....? Ooooookkkkkaaaaaaaaayyyyy, THAT was interesting. Anyways, back to the duel... Until that's explained to me, I'm just gonna say that: SWNerd pulls out the one thing that can ward off Gamer: a copy of Battlefront. This causes Gamer to say "I'm melting" a bit. Then he shoots at SWNerd, and SWNerd jumps and rolls off the cliff, returning a short while later with several bruises. When asked about these, SWNerd explains "I forgot I could stop myself, okay? Shut up! Just shut up!"

SWNerd: SWNerd force pushes Gamer towards the edge of the cliff, crushing the transporter buffer even further at the same time.

Gamer: Reverses time, pulls out a small box and bag from the transporter buffer and procedes to let it be crushed. Then Gamer sprouts 2 Solidus tentacles and 4 Doctor Octopus Tentacles. THEN Gamer takes out 8 lightsabers from his BAG OF HOLDING and TRANSPORTER BUFFER. Finally Gamer runs up to SWNerd and attacks with all 8 sabers.

SWNerd: (Alright, not quite sure what Solidus tentacles are, but I'm assuming that they are the same general thing as Doc Ock tentacles, with few differences, maybe some special abilities that I should be aware of). SWNerd jumps towards Gamer, lightsaber's out, and jumps off and between the tentacles, skillfully avoiding them, but just barely. Gamer then brings them from all different directions at SWNerd, crushing him. However, as the tentacles fly through him, he appears not to be fazed. The real SWNerd (the other was a hologram to you idiots who find the site) chops all of the tentacles off of Gamer with his lightsaber from behind, chops up the bag of holding, and crushes the transporter buffer, along with the box. (This is the fourth time I am crushing the buffer, I have attacked you 3 times without you letting me, and I have crushed 2 manipulators already. Does anyone else think that reversing the flow of time is getting a bit old? I do).

Gamer: *Long before the Real SWNerd attack* Gamer picks up nothing, realizing that a hologram, especially from Star Wars, couldn't be picked up. Thus, Gamer turns around and finds SWNerd and fires missiles, then slashes at him with the 8 arms, 6 of which are affected by the Force.

SWNerd: Well, I suppose that was a bit better... SWNerd Force pushes against the missiles when they are close to Gamer, detonating them in his face, and since it is long before SWNerd's attack, when SWNerd was still down in the cliff watching the fight only with the Force, Gamer then appears to charge at nothing. (This isn't cheap, just think about it. Your Doc Ock tentacles are twisting to grab the hologram me. If they ever looked back, they would have seen me, so it is safe to assume that I thought of that, which I did, and would still be down in the chasm.) Ah yes, then SWNerd uses the Force to rip the 4 Doc Ock tentacles out of Gamers back, taking quite a bit of spinal cord with them.

Gamer: Gamer resists the Force with his own Force and in the time where it slows the ripping-out-arms act, he shoots 10 missiles at SWNerd. When they're directed out of the way by SWNerd, Gamer rips his arms out.

SWNerd: SWNerd then takes the missiles with the Force and hurls them back at Gamer. (Isn't it a bit strange that you weren't hurt at all by the missiles blowing up in your face? I think it is.)

Gamer: Jumps high up into the air, avoiding the missiles, then redirects new missiles with the Force and continues to rip SWNerd's arms off.

SWNerd: Uses the Force to blow the missiles up, cloaks himself in the Force to hide himself from any Force sense abilities or Force based attacks, jumps up out of the chasm, and attacks the solidus tentacles with his lightsabers.

SWNerd: Dissipates the force energy, realizes what has just happened, and starts to pass the time by shooting Gamer in the head. Gamer doges these shots, and SWnerd challenges him to a duel on Counter Strike. When the game starts, a message appears on Gamer's screen. "You have the suck". Gamer is somewhat surprised by this, and then proceeds to sneak up behind SWNerd with a knife while SWNerd is placing the bomb (in the game). When Gamer slashes at SWNerd, he doesn't kill him, and SWNerd turns around and shoots Gamer in the head. Gamer then respawns and kills SWNerd 47 times in the head. They then get off of their computers, and SWNerd kills Gamer by means unknown to Gamer, but beknownst to us. (DM, did you edit my post?)

SWNerd: Blocks the stab to the head with ease, then uses the Force to pluck every hair off Gamer's head slowly, while spinning him around in the air.

Gamer: Tries to pluck the hairs off of SWNerds head but fails to realize that he can't find any. Then he kills SWNerd.

SWNerd: Since Gamer failed to realise the afore-mentioned fact, that would either indicate that SWNerd is not bald, or Gamer is stupid. We'll go on the assumption that both are true. So SWNerd, with a full head of hair, continued to go to several electronics stores to compare prices of Half Life 2. Gamer died. Then, SWNerd played Half Life 2, and eventually beat it.

Trekie: Trekie walks in and says "Well, now we know this is fictional! SWNerd beating a game?"

Gamer: 5000 years after SWNerd started the game, Gamer reawakened. "Sh-ryu-ken!" a fireball is unleashed from his hands, flying at SWNerd. Then he follows it up with a whirlwind kick and then finishes with a flaming upper cut.

SWNerd: SWNerd puts up a Force-field (Eh? Eh?) to disperse the fireball. He then blocks the kick with his lightsaber, cutting Gamer's leg off, and watches in disgust as Gamer gets thrown off balance by his own flaming upper cut (because he only has one leg), which SWNerd sidesteps. He then stabs repeatedly at Gamer with his lightsaber.

Gamer: Gamer jumps back before SWNerd can attack and shoots him with a BFG 9000.